Where did you go sun?

I thought with daylight savings I would see more sun which would mean more evening runs and make it easier to workout.

False.

It snowed on Sunday/Monday. Now it’s raining. And it wasn’t just a light drizzle, it was a nice downpour. Had it been lighter I was all about running.

I’m not normally a fair weather runner/exerciser but lately I have been. I am unmotivated. I don’t want to go outside in the cold anymore. I don’t want anymore snow. I want warmer weather and sunshine. I want to find my motivation.

However these are all just excuses for me. I can go outside or do my workouts inside. Right now I’m writing from my bike trainer, legs spinning away. I think that as the race season looms closer and I have all these goals for myself, I get more and more terrified.

I am scared of letting myself down. Of not achieving my goals. Of my hard winter training to not pay off. Of disappointing. I am terrified.

And therefore I am sabotaging myself. I’ve let my diet slip and workouts slide. Because all of these things give me an excuse to fail, something to blame beside myself.

And while I probably can’t blame myself on race day. I can blame myself right now. I can make myself accountable right now. I can do better.

The next couple of weeks are just the first of the season. And while maybe they are already out of reach that doesn’t mean the whole season is. I can still do it.

Each day is a new day.

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